three seconds for you to say those three words.

Last Entry~

2009-10-26T17:32:00.003Z

*deep breath*

Well, this is the last post, I guess.

Gonna post something for the heck of it, haha. ;)

Well, it's possible I'm gonna create another blog, but I'm for sure not gonna use my past blogs back.

I need to see something new, something different.

I just need to(:

I actually had a bunch of posts to, well, post.

They're all in my phone, but it looks like there is no need to anymore~ (:

Oh, & might consider quitting smoking.

I just don't feel the need or desire to smoke anymore.

It's kinda actually harder for me to smoke now.

Oh yeah, I've regain certain lost memories.

I recovered it a day or two ago.

Well, it's something about 'PURPOSE' & the person I was before meeting her.

I know I was completely different way back then.

I just wanna thank her (even if she doesn't know it) & I'm glad I met her.

Though memories with here maybe short & vague, I still treasure it very much.

Yes, I haven't talk or met her for a very long time.

It may be awhile more 'till I meet her, but it's okay(:

She changed me drastically but I'm grateful.

She made me realized who I am.

I had a certain direction & purpose after getting to know her.

Whatever words I said to her before, I meant it.

It's not just sweet nothings.

I still hope we'll be friends even though we might not meet for a long while.

I hope you're doing well, girl.

Good luck to all your life's 'endeavour' & journey.

Now that I remember this memory, I remember too the goal I had before I met her.

I'm going to chase that dream & accomplish the goal.

... (:

Well, yeah, I got a new list of things to do now.

So I'm gonna try do all that.

After today, there might be a sudden change in me.

But it's for the better. I won't be back like how I was.

Nothing will make me change, it's my decision that will make me.

Just wanna say that, because some people say, well, 'things' change a person.

Well, no, it doesn't. At least not for me.

She may have changed me, but that was then.

We were kids. & I treasure that.

We'll hang out someday, maybe over coffee or something, haha.

Or just do the things we do ;)

It was hard leaving, but past is past.

It can't keep chasing the future or present.

Well, I guess there's nothing left to say, no?

*ahem*

Dream as you live, live as you dream.

But don't forget, the reality & memories you wield.

For if you did, someone, somewhere, is hurt.

This is my last entry, goodbye..

..and take care~

it's been a long while..

2009-10-21T16:08:00.002+01:00

hey ho~

it's been quite a long while since i blogged, hehh.

well, i dont know what i wanna say actually.

maybe just testin' how th blog works.

i probably forgot how it works anyway.

will change th skin & stuff soon(:

see ya soon~

& oh, i just wann say one more thin'.

if you do feel for a person & you wann th person to feel th same,

sometimes, you just gotta make th person feel needed.

thats all(:

tc.

another 'lemon', another story.

2009-09-13T09:06:00.000+01:00

mehhhhhhhhhh! guess what?
i discovered another 'LEMON'!

just th same, LOVES TO LIE &&
just as pretty, LOL!

HAHAHAHA!!

sigh..
i dont know why they like to lie so much.
but for one thin', i get attracted to 'em easily - LOL!

its like, GHAST LA!
hahahhaa! :'DD

th hot chick in blue, ol' school~

2009-09-13T07:54:00.000+01:00

i just remembered.

it was about last year, i think.
cant remember exactly when.

i was sittin', talkin' to my friend(?).
then behind my friend, i saw this one person.
a chick wearin' a pale blue (tank)top, with sweater over it, i think.
sportin' bermudas 'nd shades, hair tyed in a ponytail, i think.
or maybe just untied medium hair.

at first, i thought some hawt chick in her twenties,
but then suddenly she walked towards me 'nd held out her hand.

i was like, "OMFG! who th heck-".
that is, until she took off her shades, then i was like, "chehhhh.", hahahaa.

pretty she is, but never thought she would looked like that, haha.

SHHHH!!
hahh~

at tht moment, i was sayin' "elehh, i thought who. you look- nevermind."
as i halted my sentence, she pestered me for what i was gonna say.
later online, she did too.

but i just made up somethin' to cover up(:
until now she doesnt know what i was gonna say.
of course im nawt gonna tell her.
because if i tell her, she would- .

:'D
think im gonna say? no wayy, hahahaa.

anyways, i would like to see tht chick again.
to be honest, i miss her~
BUT, i rather she just dont change.

.____.

well, gotta go.
i was bored, that's why th post :'D

well, take care!
G.H.A.S.T!!

Unpredictable~

2009-09-08T17:00:00.004+01:00

Do you ever think you made the wrong decision?

Do you wonder if you ever should have stayed with me?

'Cause just trying to live a life, can be unpredictable

And it's unpredictable..

losin' you was more than just losin' someone.

losin' you was losin' my purpose.

'nd now, i'm just driftin' 'till i find my purpose again...

th beauty by th destruction.

2009-08-20T19:16:00.002+01:00

for i am a destroyer;
for a thrill, i kill.
for i cannot be th creator;
for i cannot salvage what has age.

one word - name.

trust thrusted with betrayal.

2009-08-14T17:08:00.002+01:00

listenin' to th voices,
from behind those wall.
'em denyin' choices,
tellin' me to take my fall.

what? YOU tryin' to talk to me about TRUST?!

listen to yourself speak!

YOU made me LOSE that in you.
& now you sayin' its me who's untrustworthy?

im really gonna smack your head, if nawt HACK!
i wouldnt want to bother with "these" if you had just speak your mind!
did you even know what i was? -NO.

now im different, you say all those stuff.
whose mouth now was it tht said "friends dont forget friends", huh?

arse.
i dont really care about anythin', but its just bein' friends - was tht wrong??

whatevs'.
yeah, thats what you used to say to me all th time.
now i'll say it BACK TO YOU.

...h.

just go bitch with your friends.
im nt needed anyway.

BYE!

enough.

2009-08-09T18:12:00.002+01:00

i've really had enough.

i thought by waitin' i could maybe just wait fer th right time 'nd moment.

but i cant stand it anymore.

i started many things because of you.

& i've given up many things fer you.

but this time, no more.

this is where i mark th last 'nd th end..

remember?

you changed with a sudden unexpected attitude.

i dont know what's wrong with you.

all i've wanted was your explanation.

i dont know why because of tht im still hangin' on.

hope, purpose, intention - whatever.

whatever i told you, has no meanin' to you anyway.

im done waitin'.

i cant stand your attitude.

i may not know you for a long time or very well,

but i've known enough of you to know you.

you very well know what im talkin' about.

i know your type.

deny all you want, but i stick to my words.

.....

さようなら、愛した、大切な人

こぼれたなみだが雪に換わる..

さようなら、ないてた昨日までの僕

しずかにめを閉じて....

歩あるいて行く君を

ずっと見てた.

理由もなく涙がこぼれた..

「今も愛している…」

if someone is looking for 'old me', find me here.

i'll be waiting..

...here...

last song.

lemon, ma cherie..

free my soul.

2009-06-27T18:04:00.002+01:00

crap, i typed & everythin' disappeared.

what rotten luck.

all i can say is, im a hobo & i've been shagged.

a week long absence of everythin' & from everythin'.
been "inside" again, i guess.

shit, man.

aw crap...

au revoir, ma cherie~

hate.

2009-06-19T15:17:00.002+01:00

no, i just dun wanna see you no more.

i hate you.
just like th way how you showed me you did.

im tryin enough so tht you disappear.
but much as i try, some peepearl just had to get so know-it-all about me.

imma cap yer ass to those pricks.

well, whatever.

& to tht other person, oy dun perasan larhh.

go eff off.

fckin' old man, will you just eff off?! you're pissin' me OFF!!
why do you think i never stay at home?!
i mix with those devils, you say. well ,you're th devil im tryin to stay away from!
fyi, they're my angels! you talk too much! show some action before you even utter a word!

FCUK IT!

ugh!

bitch.

2009-06-16T11:17:00.002+01:00

stupid biatch.

call me again & you're dead.

anyways..

someone's gettin' HAAWWTEERR~ ^_^
i just realised that.. ('3')

well, whatever.

tc, hate.

you.

2009-06-13T00:47:00.002+01:00

what kind of wake-up call is this?

morning started with you all over in my mind.

why?

i have already succeeded placing you aside.
but there seems to be mediums that is retractin' you back to me.

resurfaced, remembered.
siding there, hiding there.

why?

i am not trying to say that you're just unforgettable.
and i don't want to forget you either.

but thing is, you're a friend.

we may not be close, we may not be there.
but you're just there, and close to something that beats.

why?

can you help me?
if you know what you're feeling, then can you help me?

by being more than just a friend - a very much good friend.

i am not confessing or what-so-ever.
i just need some false "phrases" be not there when it's supposed to not be there.

maybe you know me, but if so, then do something for me.

maybe a favor, or maybe just more.

i don't know.
i'm confused.

i can't think straight.
my mind is not clear.

friends just kept reminding me of some things that are lost.
for now, i rather not have those thoughts.

i just want us to be good friends.
is that hard to give?

maybe i have to earn it.
but i just don't want others to think otherwise.

they keep thinking me as 'the lost past'.
i'm not fretting over the past.

sometimes spilt milk are as good as expired milk.
i'm not saying it is, but that's up to you to think.

all i wanted was a future.
but if you guys just keep assuming stuff, then how am i supposed to acquire such?

you know me, then you'll tell me.
i just need to you to prove that point that is in your mind.

you hide stuff.
even your best-friends do not know about it.

you used to tell me stuff, but now you don't.
i know i made one too many wrong moves.

i admit, i kept reacting on impulse.
i didn't think before i did those.

all i want now is not exactly to rewind time, but to give a chance.

chance to renew something that has been casted aside for ages.
at least that is what i felt.

sometimes, i just wished that my amnesia would last long.
or maybe become permanent.

this is not about 'getting over' or 'moving on'.
but changing the form of these vague feelings.

memories are not clear for me.
so i can't really see things the way they are or how it used to be.

so i'm asking, will you give me a chance?
meet up and let's start all over.

as gullible and goofy i may seem, it's just an act based on laziness.
i'm just too lazy to "heal" things.

now, i really don't know what to say..

i just hope you don't take it the wrong way.
just like many others did.

good friends, is just the very least i ask for.
but it's all up to you.

just show your answers to me.
make it obvious.
'cause i just want to see it clear.

please?
maybe i need some sleep after staying out the whole night..

just so you know, i still can be that confidant, if you want.

take care,
..and just remember.

back to square one.

2009-06-12T11:54:00.002+01:00

though it was short, it was REALLY great with them.

they're crazy as hell!
hahahaha.

another phase of the story pass..
..a new one will come over soon.

hello, psychotic friends.
hahaha.

but now, goodbye..
see you guys some time soon maybe.

be sure to contact me when you guys have "plans".
you know what i mean, hehehe :D

knew them for a short while..
but it was great.

hahahaha.

"you never know."
hahaha, whirl.

maybe i'll post their photos soon~

they just can't shut up, these three guys.
hahaha.

sigh..
i don't know what to say.

will be gone for three weeks.
back on the sixth.

i guess i have to start back from square one.
new "bunch" of friends.

this "bunch" is not just a bunch.
they're about forty people.

crazy.

i'll have to get to know new people.
that'll be great but..
well, y'know.

hope it'll be good (:
i'm guessing i'll react in either two ways, hahaha.

well, that's all.
i have no idea what to say next.

time to get a shower and skate.
overnight.
going to have some "gulps".

take care.

June, 11th.

2009-06-11T16:51:00.000+01:00

happy birthday, marlini ! (:

hope your wishes will get fulfilled! ((:

well, here it is.

new blog for complaints & news, hahahaa~

this is actually not my "ACTUAL" blog.

the previous one was "misplaced" somewhere~ :'DDD

so, figures :D

well, i can't remember what to write.

that's all then :D

tc.